i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
