I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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