life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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