Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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