We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize