TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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