matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
her facebook's as public as her vagina
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
