i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
