dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
