I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
