i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
