dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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