You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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