I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so let's talk penis.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
