I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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