She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
