Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
