SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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