brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
