david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
wow bdsm is so cute
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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