Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm at about main and main street
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
