He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
