I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
