he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
