shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sponge bath it is.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
