i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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