He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
