I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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