did you get engaged???
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
