Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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