i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
birth control should be required to get into college
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
