I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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