Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
