guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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