You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
