a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dicks are not precious.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
