If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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