hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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