Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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