Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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