Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize