I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
