His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
