There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
