hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize