I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
