So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
