I bet he comes in French.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize