Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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