i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
