that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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