ugly people sure do ruin things
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
