Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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