whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
