what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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