I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
