how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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