on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I could fuck to npr.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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