I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
