I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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