I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
