dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Randomize